Pause emotions…please F.L.Y.


The rain was pouring outside the window like cats and dogs and there was huge uproar of thunder and lightning. Sipping the hot coffee in one hand and tears in heart Nachiket was gazing at the hallway expecting someone to come. He only realised he had been already 10 minutes late for the not-so-important meeting at the 24th floor. Nachiket just wiped the 2 drops of tears from his eyes and closed his eyes as he entered the escalator.

A slideshow of images started running thru his mind. His first crush whom he used to just see her during his schooling days… his best friends Anil, Suhana, Ankit… his mom, dad and his rockstar roomie Harish…. his colleagues Raashi, Chaitanya, Tripti and HER…

Nachiket reluctantly entered into the meeting room where the Manager was busy explaining some annual sales report. Nachiket started pretending as he was listening to all those stories…but he only knew what was undergoing on him… a deep pain… deep sense of losing someone, a guilt consiousness coupled with suicidal thoughts… a sense of hesitation and so many negative thoughts growing exponentially in his mind…It was as if a nightmare was being telecasted LIVE infront of him. He kept on thinking about it.

Rashi sensed that something was terribly wrong with Nachiket. Soon after the meeting ended she went over his cubicle and asked is everything ok with Nachi.  Nachiket replied in a very gloomy tone “I act like i am a very cool guy always… But deep down my heart I am just the opposite… I know many people face bigger problems than me but still I now feel that none in this world is as tensed as me”

Rashi replied back saying

“Well.. I could see that since 2 weeks… What’s wrong with you Nachi? You used to be the life of our team…”

Nachi replied

“I really cannot convey anything at this moment… please try to understand me Rashi… and give me some time…”

Rashi left calmly from that place… But before leaving she said  Nachi few words..

“Nachi…you know something? You have been hiding hell lotta things from me, Suhana and Tripti. Let me tell you one thing… Unexpresed emotions will never die… They are buried alive and will come forth later in a very uglier way. You are smart enough to understand what i am trying to say…”

Nachi just pursed his lips and was quiet. He once again opened his cell phone and checked to find some messages from HER…But there were none. It depressed him even more. Finally, there was a call from HER… The LCD Display read “Maithli”. Nachiket instantly picked up the call and said in a very low tone “Hi… I am sorry”

For the next few minutes Rashi could only hear hundredsof Sorry’s from Nachi as he was pleading to someone over phone. He was pleading like “Just one chance Maithli… please please”

Nachi came to Rashi’s desk after his conversation with Maithli and said

“It hurts you the most when the person that made you feel so special yesterday makes you feel so unwanted today”

Rashi asked Nachiket “Hey… what happened Nachi? Is everything ok? Is that true? I mean … these (showing some papers to Nachi)”

Nachiket was shocked to see them in Rashi’s hands and he angrily asked her “Why did you do this to me? How could you get these papers?”

Rashi just wiped his tears from his eyes and asked him to come out. She took him to the terrace and made him drench in the rain. Nachiket was all in tears. He started sobbing and said “Rashi I am helpless… I’m …. I’m..” Rashi just controlled her tears and said Nachiket

“Nachi… you are hating yourself now… FLY Nachi FLY … First Love Yourself… (F.L.Y.)…

Stop feeling that she rejected you because of these papers…and because you conveyed your feelings at wrong time…

Why do you think you are bad now? You are as good as yesterday just as the sun and rain together at the same time. You did the right thing by conveying your feelings to her..

Nachi be strong..there are storms of emotions in your heart now… Pause them…Allow them to settle down one by one…Because storms and rain won’t last forever…”

Nachi resisted Rashi by saying”But… what about this guilt feeling? Its killing me…”

Rashi said gently “Its been over a week… and you are just hurting yourself more and more… and also hurting us by not expressing your pain..I leave it to you Nachiket… Listen to me.. In the end only 3 things matter the most…

1) How much you loved and respected her?

2) How gently you embraced the feelings unconditionally?

3)How gracefully you recovered from that?

and yeah never say “SORRY” for telling what you feel for others…. Because it’s like hurting yourself for being REAL.”

Nachi let his tears fall down his eyes and raised his head up. The raindrops falling on his face, washed away all the painful moments in his life that had haunted him very badly since a week. He just felt the rain drops were entering into his burning heart and soothing it with its peaceful rhythm…Slowly he started erasing out memories of how much he had loved Maithli since 5 years by merely watching her in class, how he proposed her a week back in an accidental meeting, how she walked out of the hallway when he showed her the reports of his life battling Cancer, how she never bothered to take care of him even if he confessed that he wasn’t playing any prank with her in the name of Cancer…how Maithli plainly said “Even if you had no Cancer i would not accept you because we can be nothing but just friends… Nothing more than that”

His broken heart was being filled woth droplets of rain cooling his angst slowly…

Finally, when the rain stopped he remembered Rashi’s words

“Rains and Storms both won’t last forever”

He dialled the number of Doctor Lucius and asked whether he can get operated for his Cancer and get well. The doctor assured him that though the chances of getting fully cured maybe a challenge but he would cost him his life if the operation was unsuccessful” Nachiket replied boldly saying”Yes… but i know i will survive… i won’t give up”

Weeks later Nachiket was operated successfully and was made to undergo series of checkups until the doctor said he is out of danger. Nachiket called Rashi from hospital just to say that

“Just when the Caterpillar thought the World would end….

it became a ButterF.L.Y…. Thanks Rashi”

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