I would undo some of the relationships I made in my life. Even though they taught me numerous lessons in life, for which I always have to be grateful to them. Still, I would go back to the history and undo the moment when I let them be my closest acquaintances.
There are times when people say something which they are not supposed to say and then keep apologizing to it over and over again. On a very serious note, people like these are very common. They crack certain jokes which are never intended to make fun but deep down the heart, their words would have offended few people around them.
So bottom line is
Words are powerful
And some people realize this, when they face consequences of their words. While some Google and watch some TED talks and convince themselves that Words are indeed powerful.
One such moment I still recall was made by my closest friends. He passed some really derogatory comments on me in anger. Inspite of all his friends, asking him to keep his anger on tab, he let go of his anger on me. The end result, however was a series of “Apology Sessions” followed by “Little things you do” video dedicating to me.
I have indeed forgiven him after 3 years, but the scars are still there and his name has been permanently deleted from my good books forever. So maybe, at the end of the 3rd year when we again met on some occasion, he had asked me whether I had forgotten that incident or not.
That moment brought out the ” L’esprit de l’escalier (staircase wit)” in me. I was thinking, while he was abusing me non-stop like some roadside cheap ass… I could have easily reported that to his parents. Or even worse, would have shown him “I don’t forgive creeps” board when he came to apologize. But it was too late now… I had all those “Should’ve Could’ve Would’ve” words only in my head. I was unable to spit them out at that instance of time.
I realized one thing that day, when things are ugly between people, its better to blurt out the nasty words rather than holding it on to yourself and later becoming a victim of L’esprit de l’escalier. Life always gives us options. The option to watch our actions before we commit them, and the option to undo them. Most of the times, the option to undo is almost zero. Because nobody except God can undo certain things in Nature.
- You can’t undo your words which hurt someone very close to you.
- You can’t undo the moment when you were not there for someone, who badly needed you by their side.
- You can’t undo the moment when you abandoned the ship when you had people looking forward for your help.
- You can’t undo the moment when you failed the expectations of someone.
- You can’t undo the moment when you lost trust of someone very close to you.
- You can’t undo the moment when you let a relationship let go of your hand due to your mistake.
- You can’t undo the death of someone close to you.
- You can’t undo some painful memories caused by someone to you.
Basically, you can’t undo certain fragile and sensitive things in life. You can only be a victim of L’esprit de l’escalier.
But you can always choose a way to fix things up. If you are really really lucky, maybe you can manage taping back certain torn photographs of your lives and frame them once again.
Finally, all I ever say to people is WATCH YOUR WORDS. THEY ARE ALWAYS POWERFUL. WATCH YOUR ACTIONS. THEY ARE DOUBLE POWERFUL THAN WORDS.