Daily Prompt # 84:Resolution Provoked

steve maraboli quotes

Every year on January 1

You make sweet promises

of keeping our relationship alive

for next couple of years

 

I believe them and

trust you  like a fool,

when you blatantly refuse

to work out  to keep the relationship alive

 

Coming home late

All drunk and bruised

Sweaty forehead and

abusive words on the mouth

is this why we agreed to stay together??

 

You liked me for being the cool girl

And as the saying goes

“All guys love cool girls…

Because a cool girl takes all the shit

and yet smiles at your mess at the end of the day”

 

The kids getting beaten and

my eyeliner getting smudged

is this why you make such

sweet resolutions each day

only to break them

way before  we reach mid year

So here you go with a new resolution from my side

“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT…Goodbye.” 

Background:

I was surfing net the other day and found that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. When I say 35% it accounts to around 1.2 billion women. Chances are more that, 38% of women around the world are getting murdered by their own intimate partner. So how true are the partners truly understanding the statement “Till death do us apart”. What they are really doing is forcefully inducing deadly situations onto their partners paving way to one or more of the following consequences:

  • Huge amount of dropouts amongst women in workforce and also dropouts in schooling of kids who are part of such a situation
  • Personality disorders in both women and kids who are exposed to such an environment. Who has not seen this scene from Provoked?
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBcIEuc4XKQ
  • Adultery in marital relationships seeking out for some sort of refuge from the gory they are facing on a day to day basis, ultimately leading to murders/divorce.
  • Mental illness and post traumatic disorders by women and kids who are constantly victimized by domestic violence
  • Causes huge dent in a society , which calls an ultimatum against gender discrimination.

Solution?

The solution for this is women should be empowered. Empowerment doesn’t include just providing her refuge from domestic violence. It also includes giving her the most important weapons required to build a secure future for herself, in order to survive in such a hostile environment. Prominent amongst them are

  • Every woman must educate her own son that women are not to be treated as sexual objects. Women are not to be treated as inferiors to them. Women are to be treated differently. They should be respected and not harmed. A very innovative and powerful campaign in India was launched by Breakthrough. It was called Bell Bajao

domestic violence campaigns

  • Every woman should be educated and must establish a brand of her own in society. This can be achieved only if she tries to break her own glass ceiling. Its in her hands whether she chooses to silently bear the violence or raise her voice against it.
  • Proper awareness among women should be given in 2 fields
    • Awareness on her rights and
    • Financial Literacy
  •  To instill in each woman that she is not weak. But she is stronger than what she thinks of herself.

PS: The quote written in the last line of the poem is from Steve Maraboli.  Also the statement on cool girl is inspired by GONE GIRL by Gillian Flynn. I hope you have enjoyed reading my article on Domestic Violence. Comments and suggestions are most welcome. Also, please… the next time you see someone getting subjected to Domestic Violence kindly apply “Bell Bajao” technique or even better be a role model yourself domestic violence how to stop

Thanks for stopping by.

Lots of love and hugs,

ARK

Daily Prompt # 83:Stroke of Midnight

life is what you make it

At the stroke of midnight
I woke up from a nightmare
Only to realize I have travelled several miles
away from my reality

Not just my skin
but my surroundings are not the same
as it was yesterday
Everything changed, Everything gone….

I sit in a lonely room
And realize its not my home
All I can see is my feet
Chained to the bed
and needles pinned to my viens

I suppose this is what Hell is supposed to be
Because, its dark and the only light
which is penetrating inside this cell
is from the corridor

Suddenly, the door opens
and I find a halo of my past
haunting and scary it seems at first
and then I realize it is
none other than the angel of redemption
dressed as the angel of deception

She has wings painted black and white
and she carried away all my pain
with a swift motion from her wand
I try to call her but she hears none

I don’t know when I drifted back to sleep again
Only to find myself waking up
for a fresh start in my life
for a better perspective on my dreadly life

The angel of redemption is none
other than myself
for when you are in deep trouble
nobody can help you to move on
from the past, unless
you make a decision to move on
towards a better future.

Its me, who holds the power to heal myself
and also to destroy myself…
At the stroke of midnight
the nightmare actually helped me
to rise like a phoenix
from all my painful memories
into a better person….

The above write-up is inspired from Preeti Shenoy’s book “Life is what you make it”. The Protagonist of the novel suffers a very major breakdown in a mental asylum only to transform herself into a better person. All the setbacks in her life gets a permanent fix when she realizes the root cause of all her problems.
The book perfectly describes how much mental illness can actually hold back a certain person and how much destruction it can cause, unless timely treatment is provided to the patient.
In the end, Preeti Shenoy states the fact that, Life is what YOU make it. Its not someone coming to you and defining it for you. Its all in your hands whether you choose to learn from your mistakes and move on or hold yourself to the same situation and keep brooding over it for a lifetime.

Thanks for stopping by.

Lots of love and hugs,

ARK

 

Daily Prompt # 82:Branding Myself

blogging quotes

I started a journey which was totally alien to me

I had only few words in my mind and one vision

To make my voice heard across the globe

To reach out to more people what i believe in

Don’t know whether I am successful in creating such an impact or not

But I am sure my blog is daily read by people across the globe

For all its petty ideas on life

and depressive memoirs on life

I can see people from all walks come, visit and comment

On what my blog means to them and

what a single post has meant to them

I started anonymously and

finally branded myself as  PASSIONATE AMBIKA

So this blog is not just me

Its all about my hidden “me”

Which never saw light until they were exposed under

the bright lights of WordPress.

I am Ambika

Passionate in every aspect of my life

Be it work or life

I love being myself and this blog is just an extension of it.

Daily Prompt # 81:All men are not dogs!!!

Sheryl Sandberg Quotes

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “180 Degrees.”

Tell us about a time you did a 180 — changed your views on something, reversed a decision, or acted in a way you ordinarily don’t.

Let me start this post with a very beautiful quote by Kahlil Gibran

The deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.It is very much true in our lives. We crave for love, and we meet heartbreaking moments. We crave for happiness and we meet many a sorrow filled moments. We crave for something and we get something else. All leading to answer less questions like

WHY ME?

So what exactly is the role of pain in our lives? 

Pain defines our life by refining us. It makes us better human beings. Without pain, we would never love the fruits of blessings in our life. Pain makes space for more good things to flow in our lives, only if we allow PAIN to teach us meaningful lessons in our life.

Coming back to the topic of today’s daily prompt. “All men are not dogs” below is my experience which was narrated to me by a girl whom I met on a bus journey few days back. (P.S I won’t get into details of how we met and what led to this talk. Instead I would prefer to write the gist of the talk)

She was young, beautiful and intelligent and had a decent job in her hands too. What was missing in her life was “LOVE”. She said during her teens, she had dated few boys who actually made her life quite a mess and had turned her heart into a garbage. She no longer felt like trusting men again. She felt like ALL MEN ARE DOGS. After years of mingling with different kind of people, she had finally accepted that there exists no man in this Universe who can make her statement on men turn FALSE.

Its during one of her business trips with a major company, she discovered a heart turning event in her life. She was on a business trip and was reading the book “LEAN IN” by Sheryl Sandberg. And the below quotes actually gave her better quality on who should be her life partner.

Sheryl Sandberg QuotesAs she read this she asked herself, whether she wanted to spend the rest of her life alone, caged in a 2 Bedroom apartment of her own and brood over her past choices or make a bold choice and move on. After turning few more pages in the book, yet another quote changed her perceptions on having a life partner forever.

Sheryl Sandberg Quotes

 

She asked herself “What would she do if she weren’t afraid of another heartbreak?” Her heart answered “Go and find the guy who can stick to her through thick and thin”. That’s when she started dating her best friend and slowly he changed her perception and made her believe in the statement that ALL MEN ARE NOT DOGS.

He made her feel comfortable in her own skin and asked her to see life from a different perspective. Past choices helped her reform her own behavior and one fine day, she knew she had the perfect life partner right infront of her. And it was not someone who was having looks and charm of Adonis, instead it was her own best friend who helped her trust in her capabilities, who helped her fix her wings and let her fly alone in the vast world. He was sexy in his own terms. He was sexy in his views on this world and was bold enough to help her in her decisions.

She never felt she was tied to common notion of “You are a woman, you got to be like this”. Instead she felt “I am the woman who can be whom I want to be”. As she said all this to me, I asked her one final question….

“So you are all set to marry your best friend”

She smiled and said ” Hell yes, I will marry that man who fixed my wings back. He turned my heart around and made me rethink on how I saw men in our society”

It was indeed an actual 180 Degree moment I saw in my life. This story really helped me to change few views on men and has helped me to find a better life partner for me in future.

Thanks for reading this post.

Lots of love and hugs,

ARK