#10 – Breathe Me By Sia


Here is yet another song which quite a much touched my heart and the reason why I like the song so much is because of the fact that it speaks of the grave realities that a person faces when he is subjected to self harm. Particularly, depression.

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there’s no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch, I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah, I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Although, I have listened to so many remix versions of the same song. This one by Mylo, sticks to my heart the most.

#7 – I would do anything for you


Here comes a recommendation, straight from Youtube, long ago, which went on to become one of my favorite tracks

I did not like the tune of the song at first, but once I opened the lyrics and started listening to it… it became one of my favorite tracks. Today I would like to share it with you all…

Never wanna stand up for myself
Never wanna get in the way, I said it
I don’t know what the plan is,
But you can share with me, ‘cause I’ll
Be listening here,
To everything you say, I won’t turn away
And I will listen, open up my heart and
I must say that I love you, so

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

Every day is a battle I face
Strange life i live but its what you’ve decided
I’ll give it all into your hands,
Do what you will with me, and oh
I’ll smile when you speak
Remember all those times I was hoping for something
And shaking my head from all I have done
But you never left me

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

Give it up for you, I would give it up for you
I would give it up for you, I’d do anything for you

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

I have fallen in love
I have fallen in love
I have fallen in love

Veronika Decides To Die – A Review


This book was a part of my BUDDY READING CHALLENGE in Goodreads.

Me and Carmen, my beautiful friend from Spain started reading this together. Even though, we both had seen what happens to Veronika in the end, we still stuck together and started reading it.

The book starts with the passage from Luke 10:19

Behold I give unto you power to tread on serpents… and nothing shall by any means hurt you

The story starts on 11th November 1997, when Veronika the protagonist of the story decides to end up her life. She silently picks up four packs of sleeping pills from her table and takes them one by one until they are all over. She then picks up a magazine to find out someone asking “Where Slovenia is…”. She then thinks her death note should be explaining where Slovenia is and then passes out. When she wakes up, she finds herself in middle of tubes thrust down her throat, in the mental asylum Vilete. It is the much-feared lunatic asylum known for having genuine mad men and people who do not want to face the real world. It is a sanctuary from where people once entered, never wish to come out.

It is then, Paulo Coelho gets to hear the story of Veronika from herself.

Once in Vilete, She wonders why did she ever take such a step and right then Dr. Igor the head psychiatrist of Vilete discloses that, her heart has been completely damaged with the over dosage of sleeping pills and all she has is a week to survive. Hearing this, Veronika decides to go on a guilt free trip of her last few days, by living each day as her last. She meets 3 different people who add meaning to her life.

The first one being Zedka. Zedka is a lady who was once a happy house maker who lost her sanity, in believing that she was in love with some anonymous guy who would give her the Impossible Love-  A love which never fades. To find out the guy, she would sabotage her marital life and end up in Vilete.

The second lady being Mari – a once successful lawyer crippled by frequent panic attacks, until one day her friend suggests her to visit Vilete. She goes for a regular check up and ends up being a permanent resident there. Her husband finally divorces her and she settles down in the asylum being one amongst the mad men.

Third person whom Veronika starts admiring is Eduard– a Schizophrenic, who was once a dear son for an Yogoslavian Ambassador, turns himself into a painter painting Visions of Paradise, until his parents finally declared him as a permanent resident of Vilete. Eduard brings out Veronika’s love for playing piano which makes her fall in love with Eduard.

What is most interesting is what Veronika does in the last few days of her stay in Vilete.

She learns how to be free from Zedka. She learns to express her inner desires openly towards Eduard, in turn discovers why do humans always suppress all those inner desires of having drowned in multiple orgasms. Why do humans never come out of their own walls and describe someone who does it as MAD. She learns what it is to love someone unconditionally, without any barriers without any regrets for she knows she would die soon. Mari helps her clarify that people often suppress their desires only because they would be judged. Once you let go of that, you would be a free man.

Eduard on the other hand, helps her escape from all those things she always prevented herself from doing it. He helps her fall in love with not just herself but also helps her discover her great piano playing skills. The most intrusive thing about the book is it is a bit draggy in certain places, but apart from that, the book gives a good deal of lessons on why each day should be treated as a miracle and the importance of Love… which is above wisdom. I liked the lines by Eduard on the below image,

“Because the Virgin equals female energy and is the mistress of the snake, which signifies wisdom. If you look at the ring Dr. Igor wears, you’ll see that it bears the physician’s symbol: two serpents coiled around a stick. Love is above wisdom, just as the Virgin is above the snake. For her, everything is Inspiration. She doesn’t bother judging what is Good and what is Evil… The Virgin never took any notice of what others might think of her…”

Mari and Zedka also come out of Vilete after seeing Veronika living her last few days as a free spirited lady. Veronika and Eduard both escape from Vilete and enjoy their night out. They drink bottles of Wine and speak a lot until Veronika ends up with Eduard in Castle of Ljubljana. The next morning Eduard wakes up, to find Veronika lying curled up in his arms, making him think she is dead. But in reality, she opens her eyes and discovers she is alive… for one more day.

What happens in the background  is that Dr. Igor just drugs her with Fenotal, which gives her effects of heart attacks and makes her think that her death is near. So that, she realizes the importance of her life….Be it a wicked technique set by the doctor or a wise decision, Veronika and the 3 inmates escape from Vilete and find a true vision for their own lives. Igor succeeds in giving a new direction to the 4 inmates who had come to Vilete with zero hope on their lives.

The moral of the story is simple.

living the dream.png

I would rate the book 3.5 since the simple message has been conveyed by dragging too much in the book.

Daily Prompt #98 – What No One Tells You About Loneliness

lonely boy wallpapers

When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask for help?
Source: Take Care

For the first time in my history of blogging Daily Prompts, the prompt and the state of my health are in perfect sync with each other.

Since morning, I am feeling nausea and restlessness. Thanks to the great weekend, full of surprises and lots of long night outs… I skipped my beauty sleep and enjoyed my life to the fullest. Sometimes, skipping sleep is okay when you have hundreds of exciting things waiting for you infront of your eyes.

Coming back to today’s prompt I have split the post in 2 parts

~Part 1~

When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone?

I would prefer to soldier on alone for 2 reasons

  1. Long back someone very dear to me once said “You would not have come back from that shit if it wasn’t for me” and that sentence really made me so strong that, I rarely give any person a chance to show that he/she is doing some charity for me.
  2. I always embraced SOLITUDE to such an extent that, when I am in need of help, the closest person who can help me is ME.

~Part 2~

What does it take for you to ask for help?

When I feel that I cannot take it anymore, I would phone my friends and ask for some help.

~Conclusion~

I am sure the above statements would clearly portray me as a very rude woman but I am okay with whatever people think of me. Because, they can be just spectator to my situation and cannot take the ownership of paying my bills tomorrow.

So, its okay to soldier on alone and go the extra mile… because at times, OUR FEARS ARE THE BIGGEST LIARS on this planet. The fear of breaking down actually makes you weak and convinces you that you really need someone. One tip for all those people out there ailing from any form of sickness… always remember “Its going to be hard but hard is not IMPOSSIBLE”

So…

Be alone, Eat alone, take care of yourself alone because in the midst of this loneliness, you will find your true self.

You will grow. You will find your inspiration. You will live your dreams.You will find your clarity. – Bianca Sparacino

For those of you who do not know who is Bianca, read below

Bianca Sparacino is a writer from Toronto, Ontario who aims to write honestly about the beauty that arises from the contrasts of life. From love, and loss, to joy and regret, she has dedicated herself to turning the human condition into poetry. When she’s not writing, Bianca enjoys a shameful amount of black coffee, dusty old vintage shops, and studying Neuroscience. Some of her biggest influencers are Anais Nin, Anna Karina, and Susan Sontag. She has a very good tumblr site where you can go and read her tumblr posts filled with self help material and lots of interesting motivational stuff.

Src: ThoughtCatalog

Daily Prompt #97 – The Smartest Thing That A Woman Can Learn

lonely girl quotes

Tell us your funniest relationship disaster story.
Source: Third Rate Romance

She used to admire him

and he used to ignore her relentlessly

She gave him her heart

and he showed his ass

She walked beside him

and he never saw that coming in

She begged for love

and got his denial

She decided to leave him

and he left her

She went on to write poems and more poems on him

and more and more guys started falling for her

She went on to become a rockstar….

Until, one day he returned back to her

asking for some love

and all she said was

“The smartest thing a woman can learn,

is to never  need a man”

He said “okay you are still looking the same…. with that awesome hair”

and she said

“I’ll run fingers through my own hair

and grab my own ass…Bye”

The quotes “The smartest thing…” and “I’ll run fingers..” are taken from Pinterest. The above poem is dedicated to all women who fall miserably for that one guy, who teaches them in turn how to not give an eff to any man in this world. Thanks to all those boys who bring out the alpha woman from that innocent lass.

Daily Prompt #96 – Unexpected Guests

marriage funny quotes

You walk into your home to find a couple you don’t know sitting in your living room, eating a slice of cake. Tell us what happens next.

Source: Unexpected Guests

Recently during one of my acting sessions on a short film set, I met a couple who were sharing a similar experience of having unexpected guests for dinner/lunch.

The lady was narrating the experience of having a husband who is an avid follower of BJP VHP or RSS. During the initial years of her marriage, her husband would inform her on a short notice that, some guests would be coming to home and she should prepare some 50 Idlies and Chutney. She explained the shock on her face at the very thought of preparing batter for 50 Idlies with her beginner cooking skills.

Not just this, there have been several incidents where she used to get such surprises from her husband which she recollects now and laughs. Her husband responded back saying how she persuaded him to come out of that place and start residing in Bangalore city where none of his activist friends would visit at such a short notice.

I was listening to the conversation and was seeing both of them. Inspite of such surprise unexpected situations, it is their love which has made them stick to each other all these years. Considering the husband, who readily agreed adapt himself to the new city leaving his vast friends circle and his fellow activists so that he could give his wife some peace of mind.

I really appreciate their love and patience to understand both their needs. Most importantly I admired the way they both have stuck to each other through thick and thin and yeah the unexpected guest arrivals. They both are just an awesome bunch of human beings whom you can follow on twitter here

https://twitter.com/madhav_pastey

365 Days Writing Prompts #4 – The Liberation Day


Festivus for the rest of us:
You have been named supreme ruler of the universe. Your first order of business is creating and instituting a holiday or festival in your honor. What day of the year is your holiday? What special events will take place? Describe YOU DAY in as great a detail as you can muster: the special foods we’ll consume, the decorations we’ll use…everything.

Instead of me being named as the Supreme Ruler here is a fictional character called Banjosca who becomes the supreme ruler of the Universe.

His first order of Business would be to declare MAY DAY as LIBERATION DAY and declare the entire week as Holiday.

Banjosca is none other than someone who has

  • the criminal mastermind of a joker
  • brute strength and exceptional intelligence of Bane
  • and possesses brilliant knowledge on how to induce fear in people just like the Scare Crow.

Hence the name BAne JOker SCArecrow. Banjosca would probably look like this.

joker wallpapers dc comics

Here is a short poem that Banjosca might keep as his National Anthem if he becomes the supreme ruler of the Universe:

When I wake up this morning

I keep telling the person in my mirror

that let nobody bring you down

for you are not a MONSTER…

but you are just ahead of the curve….

When I wake up this morning

I dress myself up

and say to myself 

that I am born to

give the instrument of your liberation…

I take the detonator in my hand

and push it in my jacket

have a glass of champagne

to celebrate the victory

of people induced by the fear

of knowing WHO AM I BEHIND THIS MASK

I pick up the gun on the table

and walk down the street

taking  a glimpse of those fast-track courts 

where I decide “It’s not about what I want… but it’s all about what’s fair”

I pound the gavel down

and sentence all these

corrupt bureaucrats to death/exile

for whatever they choose, 

their final path would lead them to die their own death

My city doesn’t want any winged hero

to come and rescue them

to restore the anarchy

to pacify the chaos

to liberate them

to bring them out of darkness

to make them fearless

Instead all it wants is an

anti-hero Banjosca

Banjosca is not an anti-social

but he is a man with intelligence

ignored by the world filled with Conformists

Banjosca wins the war for he has made people 

to step out of their hide outs and be fair enough to 

embrace the sensible way of living

by breaking all the rules

The heroes of the city brand me as DIFFERENT

For which I agree…

Yes I am different FUCK YOUR OPINION

it has no meaning for I am still

searching for that one mad fellow

who is as crazy as me

and accepts my ruling unquestionably

Because I believe

MADNESS IS LIKE A GRAVITY

ALL IT REQUIRES IS A LITTLE PUSH

I stop beside the money launderers building and

press the detonator button

Off goes the siren 

and the city is in chaos….

100 more people dead

Blood bath in the street

Some more people are liberated

The anarchy has successfully restored

the faith that no money launderer 

will ever be able to survive the

chaos created by Banjosca

The tattoo shops are all open

And the kids once again ink themselves with

the words

“BANJOSCA WINS

FEAR.ORDER.FAIRNESS.CHAOS.PAIN”

I give him 2 dollars

and come back to my home

Only to wake up next day

to upset the anarchy…..

and restore some fairness in our system.

Regarding the decorations, Banjosca would put up the below posters all the main streets of the city.

joker wallpapers joker wallpapers

Daily Prompt #95 : 3 posts I liked this week


Give some love to three blog posts you’ve read and loved in the past week, and tell us why they’re worth reading.

Source: Press It

The 3 posts which I liked this week are coming straight from 2 ladies whom I consider as an inspiration to me in WordPress.com

  1. A post which made me to never give up on my dreams by dear Helen Meikle. Even though it was written long long ago by her, I still read it very often because that’s what I always dream of. To be a hermit and enjoy the solitude, writing and watching the sky.
  2. Rest 2 posts are from my dear Mrs. Anglo Swiss. Her Cat Chronicles are always my favorite. Also, her recent post on palm reader. I loved it very much.

What are the 3 posts you liked very much this week??