5 Things Your Mother Doesn’t Tell You Before Getting Married In India


This week I finished one more novel by Bhaavna Arora. The Deliberate Sinner. And here is what I come up with.

5 Things Your Mother Doesn’t Tell You Before Getting Married In India.

Bhaavna Arora with the book

Before I start reviewing the book, I would like to ask some questions which arises from Deliberate Sinner. If your answer is NO for more than 3 questions, then you should definitely see Marriage from Rihana’s point of view. Rihana is an independent girl in the story who undergoes hell after her marriage with Veer.

  1. Would you marry someone who would propose you relentlessly only to leave you after few days?
  2. Would you be with a partner who is concerned only with his sex life and doesn’t give a damn about yours?
  3. Do you wish to discover your husband sleeps with some other woman only because she calls him TIGER on the bed?
  4. Will you be able to forgive and forget your partner even after he has committed adultery in your marital life?
  5. Will you still think about SOCIETY when your entire world is totally fucked up because your partner is an emotional and a sexual vampire sucking out everything from you?

Welcome to Bhaavna Arora’s best selling novel THE DELIBERATE SINNER.

If you superficially see the book, all it speaks is of the importance of having good sex life in a marriage. But what is most importantly, highlighted throughout the book is it raises questions like these…

So where is the actual problem lying in.. Why are people so shy and still think it’s not a woman’s right to ask for what she wants on bed? Why is it always a section dominated by only men? Why is that men do not understand the needs of a woman on bed? Is woman just an object of satisfaction in all marriages? What happens, when a woman tries to correct it? Will she succeed? Will she be able to answer the conservative Indian Family which thinks a WOMAN should always cater to her MAN in the bed and never expect anything from him? The deliberate sinner answers all of these questions through the protagonist Rihana and her lovely asshole husband Veer.

Our Indian Mom’s are pretty much like this… Not joking. But there are still such people who find it difficult to answer questions like these….

Our Mothers are trained in such a way that, they think sexual education is something which every woman gets to know only after her first night with her husband. Doesn’t matter whether he fucks you hard and lets you bleed … Doesn’t matter whether he abuses you in that process and hurts you emotionally…. No matter what… Indian Mothers always teach their daughters to love her husband unconditionally….

Here are the 5 things that every mother should be telling their daughter before she enters into a married life:

  1. In a relationship, both husband and wife are equal. 

  2. If there are issues, try to solve it. If the situation doesn’t improve, seek help. If it’s still worse… please chuck him and come home. Because home is where the heart is. 

  3. As a daughter, her happiness should be of primary importance for her parents and this should be assured to her. If her partner is abusive, she should be assured by her parents that they will stand by her and will not tolerate it.

  4. Sex is important ingredient in any marriage. And demanding an orgasmic sex is not a crime. Period.

  5. A partner who doesn’t learn from his mistakes and seeks love from elsewhere is definitely not worth having. Time to divorce baby.

The synopsis of the story makes one realize how much women suffer silently in their marital lives because of selfish husbands on bed. Our society needs to change. It has built a strong notion that, orgasm is only the right of a man and…..what about a woman? God knows whether she even gets it or not. Millions of women in India, get married and end up in the relationship for decades just because they have kids and the society will not accept them if they say their sex life actually fucked up their relationship.

But what we tend to forget is, many a times, sex itself would have been the driving force of any relationship. A happy physical bonding is very important to build solid relationships. When will our parents realize this? When will our society open up? Maybe its time for them to read THE DELIBERATE SINNER.

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4 thoughts on “5 Things Your Mother Doesn’t Tell You Before Getting Married In India

  1. waav the right questions has been asked, yes a woman has the right to chose may it be anything if she is involved then yes she must have the right.
    Abt the ending where you say
    “But what we tend to forget is, many a times, sex itself would have been the driving force of any relationship. A happy physical bonding is very important to build solid relationships.” – What will one do when physical beauty fades and the sexually life becomes boring what would one do..??? Don you think its subtly saying sexual connection is important than having a more intimate soulful connection..Is a relationship where sex is the important force last long or will it end as the orgasm of the bodies end #justsaying.
    Secondly Is it not leading to a more of a FUCK AND FORGET CONCEPT .#mypointofview ,totally collapsing the idea of marriage whatever “The books of the masses ” say
    Sex is a part of life not life itself.. n both a man and a woman has their right to chose it should not be monotonous.Overall yes a valid questions have been raised which women need to think on.
    As for society we all constitute the society so the “What will society think” should be scraped off provided it is morally right.. Since we are a part of society and in society every person counts.

  2. thanks for discussing a good topic which is required at this point of time when there are many silent voices everywhere around us.M not sure whether we heard it or not.
    I will like to add more on this topic ,its clear that in indian household equals rights for secx life is still missing but if we can trace to the root cause of this isssue we will find that the image of women in indian society needs to be changed not only in the eyes of MEN but women itself.
    women itself should feel more independent about themselves ,more decision making,and more accepting themselves as a wonderful creation of God who has the power of creation which no men can do.She has the inherent virtues of creativity,nurturing,organised,caring and much more.
    Also I am seeing alll around that inspite of women working and earning they still have the pressure of homes for marriage.Its like as soon as gir turned 22 parents begin to pressurise directly or indirectly for marriage so they are left with little time to create their own stable place in society.
    This marriage mindset has to be changed.
    So the focus should be on the making women independent not only in finacial terms but emotionally as well.

    Thanks
    Shivhare

    1. Hey Shivhare,

      First of all many thanks for finally visiting my blog.

      You have pointed out an excellent thing here regarding the image of the woman in Indian Society.

      I wish more and more parents would be as matured as you to understand that Shivhare. Most of them, including my own mom feels I need to get married first asap.

      How do we change such a mindset?

      1. Things will change you will show her something which she had not seen before.
        If you will grow yourself in society where your voice means something then society will listen to you and this voice will go from society to mothers because their conditioning is influenced from society.

        Shivhare

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