Was I like this since day one ? No. For a brief period, I used to live a life of someone else… which was didn’t feel like me. I used to feel sad and drained all the time for no reason.No matter how cheerful the day used to, but sooner or later I was sad.
But one day my life changed. Thanks to Steve Jobs and his wonderful autobiography written by Walter Isaacson. The ruthless accounts of people abusing him and he in turn asking the writer to retain it opened my eyes. When a man of that huge persona can bare it all infront of readers what am I?
The below lines have had a profound impact on me.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
It was sort of realization time to know who am I beneath this flesh and bones? That’s when I got to know I am not the one that the world is seeing me today. I am someone else. I am not the sad and depressed soul but the world’s most happiest person. So what is holding on? My fears…. My own self limitations were holding me back from being ME.
The moment I started feeling I should be my own, life became so simple. I don’t have to hide my anger, my pain, my feelings for someone just because “log kya kahenge”. All I had to was express myself. Be myself. I earned most of my good friends this way. I got people whom I love more than myself. The energy surrounding me now is completely different. I feel more positive each day and more motivated to do things which I am good at. It’s totally not worth being someone else in your life. It just drains you off all the energy in this process and makes you worthless.
Always be an original piece rather than die as a photocopied version of someone else. Its fine… if you are a chutiya (asshole) be a chutiya (asshole). Don’t try to hide that. Because someday some asshole is going to love you for the same reasons. The moment you try to become someone else, your downfall starts. People easily recognize what’s genuine and what’s not, just in a matter of few seconds. With this I end this short blog post along with a small video which inspires me day in and day out to be who I am.